Dear Mr. Dadvice,

I’m in middle school and I’ve noticed that all of my friends want to do or talk about is girls. We used to play pretend and run around the neighborhood with our toy guns playing Fortnite in real life. One of my friends even found some porno videos in his parents closet and he’s inviting everyone over to watch them. I think that type of stuff is gross and I have no interest in trying to “get girls.” I just want to build legos and ride bikes. What should I do?

Questioning in Appalachia

Dear Questioning,

Perfectly normal behavior. From almost all of you. Adolescence is one of the weirdest times for an individual. Your body is certainly going through some changes as puberty hits. Some of you are going to start liking girls more and more and be curious about things like sex.

I would say that this friend trying to have a porn party knows that they’re not supposed to snoop around in their parents room, and was hoping to find something they weren’t supposed to. Typical child behavior. Just remember, if you go looking for things, expect to find it.

If your looking for treasure you might not always find gold, but you’ll probably find something to hold onto, a memory or keepsake that will become valuable to you as a person. Some people think its fun to look for trouble instead. It sounds like this “friend” is just looking for some people to share in the consequences of looking for trouble. Because that’s what you always find when you look for trouble: consequences.

So, my dadvice to you is be a kid. If you’re not interested, you’re not interested. People will always talk about standing up to peer pressure and shit. And they’re right. Peer pressure sucks. It’s hard to say no to large groups, especially when your brain is creating chemicals your body isn’t used to yet.

And the great thing about building legos and riding your bike is that it can be done alone. You don’t need friends to build with you or go on an adventure. It CAN be more fun when you share these activities with friends, but your a kid. Friends are going to come and go. Especially as you transition into who you are going to be. And that’s the most important thing. Just be whomever you feel you are.

You don’t have to like girls. You could like boys. You could like both. Or none. What matters is just being a good person and not being upset about missing out on somethings other people might be doing.

And watching pornos with groups of people is kind of weird. I’m not saying it’s wrong, just not something I would do.

Seriously,